Golden Echo of Kingly Strength

And so, on that 17th day of June, in the year of the magic bean, it
came to pass that a child of great majesty rose forth from the womb
to greet the new day with triumphant shouting and explosive
enjoymentude.  He was a great relief to his parents, as 54 hours of
labor had taken their toll, marking them with its nine tongued
scarring exhaustion whip, so that the scars melted away in starlike
tear puddles.   "7 pounds, 12 ounces of shrieking terror", his
enemies whispered in dark places behind closed doors, and at 20
inches his towering frame pierced the clouds of mount Olympus.  Thus
was he born, and so shall it be known.